Lunch at Krachai

The Uncertainty Principle

Bill

Per Person
Set menu; €13.50

Location
On the net



In Short
Hopes?Orient, express.
Reality? Points failures.
First Impressions? Semi posh Madrid.
A USP? Thai for the safety conscious? Does that count?
The food in three words? A mixed bag.
Can they get the staff? Rapid service.
Service with a smile? No connections.
Would you take your friends? No.
Rating for a dating? Decor and ambience are right, food's safe.
Tip? No.
Change one thing? Take dessert even a bit seriously.
Going back? Not likely.

In Pictures
On Google Images

In Depth
Some Thai flavours don't make up for a lack of a sense of adventure at Krachai.

Today we’re on a daily menu, in the €13- €15 bracket and wondering where on the Madrid Thai spectrum we’ll be at. Some places aim for a sub-authentic feel, with allegedly Thai décor (💡! "Let's stick a tuc-tuc on the ceiling, guys!") almost entirely unlike being in Thailand. Krachai takes a classier approach. Sit down, look around and it's smart – there’s a nice brass bell on a sideboard, a rather smart temple mural behind us.

Result? Décor that won’t scare conservative diners, even if it doesn’t draw in the sockless. Two different forces pulling in opposite directions, there. Ye cannae break the laws of physics, but who’s going to have the greater pull?

Where does the food sit in this equation? Instinct would say it’s going to be photocopy Thai. All look, no depth. Reality? We shouldn’t judge a restaurant by its covers. There are some things to enjoy here, but, at least on the menu del dia of the dia in question, serious issues.

Kick off. 

Karachais

A trio of str**tf**d is accompanied by two sauces – plum and sweet chilli, we reckon. They sell the place well. Satay scores 4/5. It’s decent-sized and there’s loads of sauce, so points for that. There’s background chilli which stays with you. Maybe a smidge more heat would help, but it’s good. The other elements have the right feel but need more punch. 4/5 for the sausage, 3/5 for the Spring Roll. It's all far tidier than Thailand would be, but not a million miles off in impression.

Mains.

Karachais Karachais

Mixed bag here. Scrambled eggs with "oriental" rice? Which force is pulling here? Forget Newton's law, see our first rule. Not actively bad, but a mildly spiced revuelto isn’t going anywhere we want to visit.

Pleasingly, chicken green curry is travelling a different course and nearly gets there. A one plate job, there’s a good portion of rice, sauce with a kick and a ladleful of variable main ingredients. Some veg are crunchy, others a mite soft. Conclusion? It feels pre-prepared. Freshly cooked, it would have more whack, we think. No fresh herbs, either.  For a lunch menu, it’s acceptable, but I hope the a la carte version has more passion afforded it.

Dessert. 

Groundbreaking, this. It's Schrodinger's pudding.  The menu lists quantum physical desserts. I.e they exist as no more than possibilities. You only find out if they're real when you ask. And today? They're fictional. All of them. The dessert wavefunctions collapse like primadonna footballers in the penalty area. Ah, so what is on offer, you wonder?

A scoop of ice-cream.

Per person.

Look, we should pause a mo to let that sink in. Back in two ticks.

1
2 (Yep, one scoop. Doesn't sound much, does it? Oh, sorry, yes were pausing. Shhh, us.)
3
4
5....and breathe.

Some places are offering homemade specialities, and this letdown undoes the pleasing work earlier.

So, in the end, which variable is stronger in this formula? Exciting the flavour-hungry hipsters or pleasing the cautious conservatives? Until the desert of the dessert menu, it had been a balance of the forces.

A thai tie, if you will. No? Fair enough, please yourselves. 

But the fourth rule holds true, and if they don't care even a hypothetical cat's whisker about the last third of the menu, what does that say?