Dinner at Los Espetinhos

The First Cut is...


Pay
€€
Per Person
€37 each, incl bottles of water and wine. Gratis: not a sausage. Nada. Charge for: aperitif.


Basics
Location
Los Espetinhos on Facebook




In Pictures
Los Espitinhos on Google Images

There's More
Caipirinhas at Los Espitinhos

In short
Hopes? Something a little different.
Reality? A big, big dinner.
First Impressions? Bar is nicely busy at 8.30.
A USP? All-you-can-eat barbecue turned into smart table service.
The food in three words? Meet the meat.
Can they get the staff? Loads of them. Pretty good.
Service with a smile? Very approachable. Everyone said hello and goodbye!
Would you take your friends? It'd depend on the friend for this one.
Rating for a dating? Yes. If you're trying to get off with a velociraptor.
Tip? Small one. For amiability.
If you could change one thing, what would it be? Stop charging for the aperitif.
Going back? Open question. It's not a no.

The whole story
Toddling up San B last week. What do I spy in the corner that used to be the Taberna San Bernardo? A new Brazilian Churrascaria. That'll do then! Friday, here we come.

And so. It's a cold night. Wet. Windy. 'orrible. My new Star Wars brolly feels the force of the rain as we head up the hill.

Los Espetinhos looks a nice place to visit. The lighting is bright but welcoming. Everything looks fresh, clean and, obrigado, not over-fussy in the design department.

No 1. waiter offers explanations in more detail than needed with a clearer menu. The aperitif is excellent limey fish bites.

Two options are on offer.  The full 10-meat monty - Rodizio - including a starter from a lengthy list. Or an espetinho (trans: a big prongy thing) loaded with anything from veg. to sardines or meats of many flavours. It's not cheap. €20 a prongy thing, €24 the Rodizio, also available in a fish version.

Awaiting the wine list, I make the mistake I promised to avoid two weeks ago. Ordered a non-denominational beer. Oh dear. The Green Peril. I should tie a knot in it. Which would at least stop me ordering beer.

Waiter interface was generally good, but neurotic. They're attentive, but, like a puppy with a new toy it can't let lie, they couldn't let us be. So, Mr Spock -

Beware - waiters may pour your wine!
There's not much in food terms we're really dead against, but we'll set our own drinking rhythm, ta very much. Wine-serving waiting staff, please click here.

Starters are Cozinha and Provolone. The first is three cone-shaped croquettes, with a tomatoey sauce and potato julienne thingies.

Los Espetinhos


This is good, and enough for two to share. Filled with a mix of chicken and cream cheese, they probably shouldn't work but do. That sauce was fine but needed to be out of the fridge an hour earlier. It's Cold, which is not cool. The provolone had a sun-dried tomato topping which lightened its inherent heaviness. Accompanied by some very nice cheese-filled begnoits, this was a really good lead-in. It had us hopeful about what's to come.

Main course time and our first encounter with a very amicable chap armed with a very sharp carving knife. There's a lot of meat to mention, so this is not necessarily a review for all palates.

As early arrivers, we mostly got first cuts. Sometimes this meant more flavour. Certainly with garlic-buttered EntraƱa/skirt steak we got the juiciest bits going. Excellent, if inevitably fatty. With the Veal/ternera and Ox/buey, it worked against us. Well done is what you get on first cuts. Good meats do need variations in their cooking times. Must admit I don't know the logistics of that in this style of barbecueing.

Beyond the bovine, results were mixed, too. White sausage/butifarra and morcilla only worked for one of us. Panceta in honey and cinnamon was, no porkies, a write-off. Not surprising when bacon trifle couldn't make porcine desserts fly. Now, Chicken thigh is a tasty cut. So, is compressing dozens into a giant kebab a good plan? Nope. It's down there with opening the Ark of the Covenant. You get a fatty, cardboardy abomination the V-minded should offer the rest of the planet. We'd see things your way instantly. Garlic-infused wings were great though, barbecued individually. Bacon-wrapped dates should have accompanied the morcilla early in the action.

Still, our friend The Flashing Blade remained a helpful presence. Inviting us to try more, offering extra slices. Very professional. Extra roast potatoes and steamed seasoned vegetables were on offer, too. The spuds were delicious.

Los Espetinhos

Late on, he explained what we'd thought was the salt cellar was in fact a traffic light. Green means you're keen, red means you're...reddy to stop, presumably.

Time to deco the desserts. It's an odd card. No chocolate in evidence. We went for Brasil's version of Pudding! Nothing wrong with it, nice coconutty texture, but nothing special and I don't need splodgettes of plastic cream, thanks. Would have loved something citric and lighter, like a lemon sorbet with cava or vodka.

So that's your lot. No digestives or licors, and an unexpected charge for the fish bites we enjoyed at the start. Not bad for somewhere barely a month old, but I want to see how things look and what lessons have been learnt a year from now.